Private Prayer (Matthew 6:5-15; Psalm 17:1-9)

We are coming to the end of our series on prayer. So far, we have seen that prayer is asking God. Jesus invites us to ask our Father for things. And we know God will grant us some things for sure. He will give us the Holy Spirit. He will do His will on earth. He will give us mercy. And we have also seen that we are to keep praying. We are to be persistent with prayer. Even though not all the time will we get a “yes” to what we are asking.

And today we are looking at how we pray in private. What do we say to God when no one is watching? What are we asking, or telling God? And ff God knows what we need already, what is the point of it at all?

The way we pray says a lot about who we think God is. When we pray, are we trying to get God’s attention because He is too distracted for little old us? When we pray, are we trying to inform God about what is going on, as if we have to catch Him up to speed on things He has missed? If we aren’t praying to God at all, is that because we think He doesn’t listen or is not interested in what we have to say?

Jesus Teaches How to Pray

In the first week of our series, we looked at Luke’s account of the Lord's Prayer, and today we have Matthew’s version. These versions are slightly different, but this shouldn’t worry us as Jesus was a travelling teacher, and so He probably said things multiple times in different ways. In Matthew's version, Jesus assumes we will pray, and He instructs His listeners

“This, then, is how you should pray:
“ ‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.’ (Matthew 6:9–13 NIV)

This model prayer is short and punchy. It gives God, our Father, glory. It looks forward to the time when He and His kingdom will one day come. It asks God to do His will on earth. And as it turns to us, it asks for the basics in what sustains us. It asks forgiveness from Him as we model forgiveness to others. And it asks for protection, so that we will not go down paths of temptation and will be saved from the one who is the mastermind of all evil.

This is a prayer said in the plural. It can be said in a group setting, but it can also be a model prayer you can say in private.

In Matthew's Gospel, before Jesus gives this model prayer, He gives some simple instructions in how we can pray privately. He gives us instructions for things we are not to do and things we are to do in prayer.

Pray to be seen by God and to speak to God

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. (Matthew 6:5–6 NIV)

Some religious people would have set time to pray. And so when they are out and about and prayer time came around, it would just happen to be when they were in the busy synagogue or next to a busy street corner so that more than one street can see them praying. People were cosplaying at being prayerful, making sure that they would be seen by others. It's like when you go for a run; it doesn’t count unless you put in strava so others can see. Jesus says their attention is their reward, and only their reward.

When we pray, we aren’t to do it in order to receive attention and praise from others. We don’t have to #hastag our prayer journals on Instagram for the likes. Our goal in praying to God is not for others. It is not so people think we are somehow better or more holy, or closer to God. None of that should be our motivation. Jesus says there is a better reward than the praise and attention from others. Instead, we are to pray privately. We are to pray alone, to our Father who is unseen, who will see us and reward us.

Pray with simplicity and with forgiveness

The second prayer tip Jesus gives is

And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. (Matthew 6:7–8 NIV)

In the first instance, it was about others hearing and getting the attention from other people. In this case, it is about trying to get the gods' attention. The idea is that you have to drag out your requests, as it was assumed that longer prayers must be better prayers.

[[In some of the old pagan god stories, the gods were busy with their own lives, so you had to do things to get their attention, or make great sacrifices or vow to get them to do what you want. In just one of the many examples, in the story of Troy, King Agamemnon sacrificed his own daughter to get the god Artemis’ attention and favour to make the winds blow so his ships could sail for Troy.]]

There is this story in the Bible where Elijah had a showdown with the prophets of Baal, in 1 Kings. There were 450 prophets dancing and shouting all morning, trying to get Baal’s attention to set fire to a sacrifice. As the afternoon came around with nothing, they even tried cutting themselves to show how serious they were, but Baal didn’t hear. Then in the evening, it was Elijah’s turn, and he prayed a two-sentence prayer (1 Kings 18:36-37). And boom, God answered. Fire from heaven. No babbling, no song and dance, just a short request and God answered.

God doesn’t need us to say many words to grab His attention. He isn’t looking for an essay from us. We don’t have to fill Him in on what is going on. He is already across it. We can be simple in our prayers to our Heavenly Father.

Even though God already knows our needs, He still wants us to come to Him and ask. And if that is the case, then perhaps it is not the asking that He needs. Perhaps the asking is what we need. God is not after our information, but He is after our transformation.

In asking, we are showing our dependence on God. We are saying that we are actually aware that we cannot steer our lives on our own. In our finiteness, we bring our human needs to God, our creator, who made us to be in relationship with Him. And so, as we take things to our Father, our prayers may be changing our own hearts to be more aligned with God. As we pray for God’s will to come down to earth, that also includes our own wills, to be shaped more like His.

In the Lord's Prayer there is the line “forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors”. After the prayer, Jesus adds, as a sort of footnote expanding on this line, saying:

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:14–15 NIV)

This sounds a bit tricky, as after all, aren’t our sins forgiven by what Jesus has done for us, and not by our own actions? Will God not hear us if our character is lacking?

We saw earlier that Jesus wants us to avoid hypocrisy in our prayers. He doesn’t want us to play act at praying. Hypocrites are those who dress up and appear as something other than what they are. They are pretending to be holy.

In seeking forgiveness from God, He also doesn’t want us to be hypocrites in this area. Are we asking God to do something towards us that we are unwilling to do to others? If we are asking for His forgiveness and we can’t forgive others, we may have to understand our debts and forgiveness better.

Jesus tells a story in Matthew 18 about a King who forgives one of his servants who owes him an impossibly large debt of about $15 billion dollars. Later, that forgiven servant finds someone else who owes him $20,000, and he roughs him up, demands his money back and throws him in jail. The king hears of this and says, “You wicked servant, I cancelled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” and then that servant goes to jail and is punished. Jesus sums this story up and says:

“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” (Matthew 18:35 NIV)

Because of our sins, we have an impossibly large debt towards God, and instead of punishing us, God forgives our debt and pays the price of death on our behalf. If we see how much we have been forgiven by God, and we love the fact that we are now forgiven, we shouldn’t be hypocrites and not offer to others what we have freely received and experienced.

Let's not think we are more hurt by sins than God, and not offer forgiveness to others. It can be hard; it can be costly. Forgiveness puts nails in hands. But we are to be like our Father, and as His children, and copy His ways.

David Shows His Prayer

So how we pray says something about who we think God is. We don’t have to wave God down and get His attention; we aren’t to pray so others think we are somehow more holy. We can be direct and clear with God in how we are feeling, knowing that He sees and hears us.

So how could we pray to God? In Psalm 17, we get a little insight into one of David's prayers when he was in great need. He comes to God, asking for help, with simple words, expecting to be heard because of what he knows about God. We can use the Lord's Prayer as a model to pray; we also can use other parts of the Bible to help in our prayers. So we will have a quick look at the start of this Psalm.

Standing before God

Hear me, Lord, my plea is just;
listen to my cry.
Hear my prayer—
it does not rise from deceitful lips.
Let my vindication come from you;
may your eyes see what is right.
Though you probe my heart,
though you examine me at night and test me,
you will find that I have planned no evil;
my mouth has not transgressed. (Psalm 17:1–3 NIV)

David asks the Lord to hear his cry, to see and examine him, to test that what he says is right. David is not saying that he is perfect or sinless, but in pleading his current case, he is saying that in what has happened to him, he did not plan evil. He has not lied. His motives have been pure, and yet his enemies are still after him.

David comes to God and is willing to be examined by Him. He doesn’t want to be a hypocrite. He knows he cannot hide from God, and in doing so, he knows that he is also be seen by God. David has faith that he is able to stand before God and ask for help. His faith in how he prays shows that he knows his Father in heaven sees and hears him. And not only that, David is confident that God will save.

He goes on

Seeking God’s help

I call on you, my God, for you will answer me;
turn your ear to me and hear my prayer.
Show me the wonders of your great love,
you who save by your right hand
those who take refuge in you from their foes.
Keep me as the apple of your eye;
hide me in the shadow of your wings
from the wicked who are out to destroy me,
from my mortal enemies who surround me. (Psalm 17:6–9 NIV)

David asks God to listen to him, because he knows God has great love for His people. In his prayer, David is recalling God’s past love and is praying that God will continue to do what He has always done. He asks God to help and protect him. David asks God to keep him the apple of His eye. This phrase is poetically saying how the pupil of the eye is very sensitive, and so it needs to be carefully guarded from injury (Psalms, Volume 1 The Enemy Attack (17:6–12))

David wants to be protected like that. He wants to be kept under God’s metaphorical wing, where he will be safe.

In this Psalm, we see that David prays through his problems. Through these persistent trials, David is persevering in his faith. (Exalting Jesus in Psalms 1–50 Persevering Faith (Psalm 17))

David is taking his needs, his worries and his honest concerns to God. David prays, knowing that God hears and will answer him. This is a model that we can copy too.

Our Private Prayers

So, in our private prayers to God, what is it we are saying? What do we think about God when we come to Him?

Is prayer a simple tool for God to do our bidding? Is it a way to get what we want from God? What do we think we are doing when we are praying?

Prayer is more than just a pragmatic tool, and is not all about the outcomes that we want. Prayer’s utility shouldn’t be reduced to some sort of cause and effect.

When I was a child, I am sure I made many demands of my parents, trying to revolve the world around me and my needs and demands. When I was a teenager, I sort of checked out of my involvement with my parents, and stopped asking things from them. What was the point, as they probably would say no anyway? But now, I go to my parents' place, and I try to do what they want me to do. Last week I spent some time moving things around for them. I had no opinion on where the bookshelves or desks should go. They had a plan; I was willing to help and be a part of it. I didn’t want anything in return. I was happy to do my parents' will.

So when you pray, and Jesus assumes that you will pray, what are we saying to our heavenly Father? Do we want communion with Him, or do we merely want a pragmatic relationship where we rattle off our lists of needs?

If our prayer life is absent, is that because we have sort of checked out of the relationship and think God will say no anyway, or there is no point in asking as He knows our needs already?

Or are you willing to talk to God, to share something of yourself with Him, to tell Him of your desires and needs, and be willing to go along with His will? Prayer is asking God, and it is also about simply coming to Him and sharing ourselves with Him. That is how relationships work.

When you go and see a movie with others, I always find it interesting that just after you walk out of the cinema, you start talking about the movie you all just saw together. You all heard the same lines, saw the same acting, but in the talking, we are sharing something of ourselves, something internal to us. What we liked, what we didn’t like. Things we noticed and enjoyed. And it is in that sharing we are building a relationship. We are sharing things internal and private to us, with others. Prayer is a little like that. God already knows our needs, but we still need to share our heart with Him. It's part of our humaness, its part of relationships.

At the end of the movie Jerry Maguire, he bursts home through the door to see his wife, who he had been estranged from. He goes to tell her that their business has just had a very big night, but it wasn’t complete. It was not even in the vicinity of being complete, because he couldn’t share it with her. And then he says the line “you complete me”. That is what relationships are about, more so than their utility and what you can get from them. It is about sharing yourself with others.

God wants us to come to Him, to share our internal private things with Him, even if He already knows it. He wants us to tell Him our hopes, our fears, worries and burdens. He wants us to say our needs and to ask.

This week, pray following Jesus’ teaching and with confidence like David did. Know that God will see and hear you. This week, share with God something you are worried about, something you are fearful of or grateful for, or where you are struggling. Let God know your private thoughts. Let His rule settle your need for control. Let His will reshape your own will. He wants you to come to Him in this way.

Give it a go, just talk with your Heavenly Father.

Heavenly Father,

We know that you hear our prayers

Examin us, and help us to pray truthfully,

not seeking any one else’s attention

Answer our prays Lord, and keep us protected from evil

Give us our daily needs

Help us to forgive others, remembing how much you have forgiven our debts.

Draw us closer to you, our Heavenly Father, who wants to hear our private thoughts.

Help us to trust you with them.

This was ask in our Savior, Jesus Christ.